I fired myself

August 6, 2020

It was a difficult decision, but I had to do it. I fired Evening Bryan.

To be fair, Evening Bryan (5pm-10pm) faced a formidable challenge in his daily shift: deciding when, what and how much to eat. For ten years, Evening Bryan overate and gained more than fifty pounds, fueling relentless shame, guilt and malaise. Every night, he failed the marshmallow test; temporarily discounting the future in favor of the here, the now, the carbs, and the sugar.

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His behavior had devastating ripple effects on the other Bryans. The excessive nighttime food consumption made quality sleep nearly impossible for Nighttime Bryan (10pm - 6am), which caused Morning Bryan (6am-12pm) to be quite displeased because he consistently felt tired, irritable and unprepared for the demands of life. In short, Evening Bryan was making life miserable for all Bryans.

So, a year ago, I fired Evening Bryan from his shift, revoking his authority to make food consumption decisions. Now, no matter the circumstance, only Morning Bryan can decide when, what and how much to eat. The results have been spectacular; sixty pounds less to carry around and record levels of measured health and wellness.

This is my routine now:

  1. Eat breakfast at 7 am.
  2. Dinner at 11 am.
  3. Fasting 20 hours a day.
  4. No caffeine or other stimulants
  5. Discontinue fluids after 4pm to avoid getting up at night.
  6. 60 minutes of meditation and HRV training

At a recent all-Bryan meeting, all the Bryans shared their experiences with this unconventional new routine. While Evening Bryan frequently complains about hunger and the social awkwardness of not eating at dinner with family and friends, he feels relieved in this arrangement. Nighttime Bryan now sleeps soundly through the night, and Morning Bryan is well rested and sharp, ready to tackle the challenges of the day.

Why did it take so long for me to realize this? In part, because our biases and blind spots remain invisible to us. We don’t have an “Activity Monitor” for the brain which tells us which thoughts, cravings, or biases are draining our decision making. (As Kernel CEO, I am obliged to say: “Yet. We don’t have the numbers. Yet.”)

Up next, all-Bryan’s have their eyes on Confirmation Bias Bryan.


P.S. What transpired in your recent all-self meeting?